Found this story on the web years ago and when I think about goals-setting and goal accomplishing, about finishing the race, I think about this.

Her goal was the California coastline –a 34 km swim from Catalina Island. It was no more distant than the width of the English Channel, a goal she had already conquered as the first woman to swim it from both directions. Although she was a seasoned long-distance swimmer with incredible stamina, she trained arduously to prepare herself to achieve her goal.

July 4th, 1952
Millions watched on national television, as 34 year old Florence Chadwick began her swim. The water was icy cold; the fog — so thick she could hardly see the support boats alongside her. As the hours passed, she was repeatedly stung by jellyfish. Sharks had to be driven away with rifles. Yet she pressed on, determined to achieve her goal.

15 hours later
Numbed with the cold, she was ready to give up. Her mother and her trainer were in a boat at her side. “Florence. You are almost there. Don’t give up now.” Encouraged by her mother’s admonition, she continued to swim.

Failure
Fifteen hours and fifty minutes after she began her swim, the support team reluctantly agreed to pull Florence from the water. Several hours later, after she warmed up, she realized she had given up only a few hundred meters from her goal! If she had continued just a little while longer, the waves would have carried her to the beach. “If I could have just seen the land for myself, I would have made it!”. She told reporters it was not the sharks, the fatigue, or even the cold water that defeated her. She had been defeated by the fog alone. It had obscured her goal and blinded her reason, her eyes and her heart.

Never give in to defeat.
1952 was the only time Florence Chadwick ever quit. Two months later she swam that same channel. The water was still ice cold and still inhabited with sharks. Once again fog obscured her view. But this time she pressed on, BELIEVING that somewhere beyond that fog, her goal would be reached. Not only was she the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel, but she beat the men’s record by two hours!

Obviously were heading into the new year and the new year comes associated with the word resolution. One dictionary defines resolution as “a firm decision to do or not to do something” and that’s what we’re looking for in this week’s workout.

Workout: Write down 25 goals for 2009 and share them with someone else. The goals have to be written and constructed in the S.M.A.R.T. format described below.  The goals should also be meaningful, that is, you should be able to link your goals to your values, your vision, and your mission. There’s no need to categorize the goals though I suggest you consider physical/health goals, financial goals, relational/emotional goals, mental goals and spiritual goals. In other words at the end of 2009, your relationships should be stronger and you should be healthier, wealthier, and wiser (to borrow Ben Franklin’s “early to bed” outcomes).

The spiritual, by definition, is less tangible. I can see the fruit of a strong spiritual life and I can identify manifestations of the soul but I sometimes have difficulty quantifying spiritual activities and development. I’ll give you a couple days to think about this on your own (please share your thoughts in the comments section) then share some of my thinking later in the week.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals:

• S-Specific: your goals should be as precise and defined as you can make them.  The goal “to get in shape”  is ambiguous and fuzzy. What kind of shape? A round shape? I already got that one… If this is a health related goal then it would be more specific to describe the shape as a certain weight or waist size. Maybe you want to run a 10k race or deadlift 400 pounds.  Whatever it is make it specific enough for you to know if you’ve made it.  Financial and physical goals are a little easier with this one. The relational and spiritual ones may prove challenging.
• M -Measurable: when you think of this one think rulers, scales, numbers, percentages… you should know when you’ve finished your goal. The only way to do that is to craft the goal with measurement in mind. Example: “In 2009 I will memorize five bible verses a week.” When it’s phrased in this fashion I can tell you that I completed this goal, I completed half of this goal or none of this goal. I now have the ability to measure my accomplishment (or lack thereof) and this ability motivates the accomplishment.
• A -Aligned: as mentioned in the workout’s description, you should be able to draw a straight line from your goals, through your values and what’s important to you, and then to the vision and calling in your life. Don’t make goals that you don’t really want to accomplish or are in opposition to who you are.  You need to be pretty clear on who you to make this one work and may have to start with some value identifying work.  I’ll talk about this more this week.
• R -Reasonable (or realistic): “I will lose 20 pounds today” is specific, measurable, maybe aligned, but, I’m going to suggest- unreasonable. I know it’s possible to lose 20 pounds in a day (witness the Ultimate Fighter) but it really is unacceptably unreasonable. One person told me to think off a reasonable goal as one that is just out of reach. The challenge in this section is to make the goal challenging enough that just seeing it motivates and inspires us to do it and not so challenging that it stops and discourages us.
• T -Time frame: your goal should have a “finish by” date. For example, “in three months I’ll…” or “…by the end of March.” Without a timeframe or deadline your goal is a dream. This is one of the things that prevent many of the goals we have from getting checked off.

Two things will help you harness the power of focused goals in your life this year. The first is this S.M.A.R.T. structure for your goals. If you can write a goal that is specific, measurable, aligned, reasonable, and has a timeframe you are good to go. The second thing that will help you is the second part of the workout description – “… and share them with someone else.” If you have people in your life that can and will hold you accountable to these goals (and just telling somebody helps) you’ll be more likely to move from the goal-setting group to the goal-accomplishing group.

No, not be poor or don’t have money but “be last” with money. I don’t always have a lot of it but I want to be conscious of how I spend it.  How we deal with money can tell about us. The question for our soul is not how much money we have but rather how much does the money have us. See, it’s not the having of money that’s a problem it’s the love of money that is the kill our soul.

How do you know if you love money? How do you know if you love you anything or anybody?

• You think about it all the time.
• You want to be together all the time.
• You feel sad or anxious when apart.
• You change your schedule to be with it.
• Your friends and family are less of a priority.

John Maxwell says that he can tell what a person’s priorities are by looking at two things:  their calendar and their checkbook.  Take a some time to check yourself.  What does your checkbook say about your priorities, your position in life?  Are you putting yourself first or others? Where are you in this money relationship?

One of the nicesest thing my wife ever said about me was her response to someone at church who had asked her if I was a nice person.  They’d asked me first and I said let’s go ask my wife.  She jokingly (?) replied that “nice” wasn’t the first adjective that came to mind but that what you saw is what you got.  She said I was the same at church as I was at home.  I’ve always remembered that and worked to make that statement true.

A large part of making the soul strong is to work at removing the multiple “me’s” in our lives.  So often we behave one way at one place and a different way at another.  This weakens us, especially when these differences are manifested at home.  We’re polite and positive (hopefully) at work then we come home and we’re grumpy, disrespectful and rude – and this with the people we love!  We too often have given our best at work and what remains is dumped unceremoniously on our family.

For this week’s workout I’m working on being conscious of “being last” not just at work, on the street or at the mall but also, and to me more importantly, at home.  Here’s some ideas:

1. First, be aware.  Think and ask yourself what you could do or say that would place your spouse before you, in the first place of your life then do it or say it.  There are different ways that we can give and receive love and what might make you feel important might not for your spouse.  If you don’t know or are uncertain, ask.
2. If you’ve been at work all day (or at home all day), take a few minutes, pause in the garage or in the car to re-center, re-focus, re-align.  We do it at work when preparing for a project meeting let’s do it for the daily reunion with our families.  This initial reconnection with our spouse can make or break the rest of the night.  It’s vitally important so let’s treat it that way.
3. If you have children recognize that they have needs too and will want to press and play and be the center of your attention.  Give them that gift.  Before you relax or unwind or take time out for yourself, give them your attention, put them before you.  Yes, some days it’s harder than others but that’s the what make this a workout.
4. With your parents, brothers or sisters recognize that sometimes we take the people who’s lives are irrevocably tied and connected to us and we place them far down on the priority list.  Sometimes all it takes is for us to remember how important they are.  I see it happen all the time – the problem is that it’s usually at funerals.  Don’t wait to put the people you love in their place.  Give that inch, that little bit of “extra”, that says you value who they are.  Do it with the small things too, the movies for the family movie night, the dishes, the clothes, the last cookie – all of these things give you opportunity to put the other person before you.

One of the questions people who lift weights often hear is “Eh, how much you bench?”  That bench pressing score, the weight you squat or deadlift, how fast you run a mile or 5k – these are all indicators of physical strength and vitality.  Your relationship with your family, you husband or wife, your connection with your children, these are indicators or strength and vitality as well.  When the the physical and the emotional are both strong, our souls are strong.

Let’s do this!

BJ Penn said “Be first”.  Jesus said “Be last”.  When you’re in the Ultimate Fighting Championship I agree with BJ; in life, I’m going with JC.

The workout this week, Christmas week around the world, is to work on being last.  Conversely, put others first.  There are no easily quantifiable exercises for this one but here are some examples below. Please add your ideas to the comments.

• When you’ve finally found a parking space at the mall, just before that other car, when you have dibs, the rights for the space, let the other have it.
• When you’re looking for a cashier at  __Mart and you and another shopper see the open one at the same time, don’t scowl and speed up, smile and slow down, let them go first.
• At work when someone is taking credit for your performance be quiet and don’t fight it.
• When someone puts you down lift them up.

A big challenge will be keeping this workout TOMA (top-of-mind-aware).  Of course, the idea of being last itself will offer the biggest challenge to many of us.  We grew up competing and fighting to be first.  We’re taught early on that life is a contest, a dog-eat-dog world, and you DO NOT want to be last because you DO NOT want to be a loser.  Be a winner and you’re good.  Be a loser and you’re bad.

“Nobody remembers who finished second but the guy who finished second.” – Bobby Unser
“Second Place is just the first loser.” – Dale Earnhardt

Jesus did say to be last but the context and intent is very different from how we might understand it now.  It’s not “be a loser” or “be less than” someone else but rather be truly successful, be all you were created for.  If you want to be first (and you should want to), he said that you must serve all.  One of the biggest tests in our soul development is not to compete with others but to fight against our own entropy, our own natural decline to disorder and disharmony, to self-preservation and self-aggrandizement.

It’s ok to want to be first, in fact I think to want less than that for your life is to settle for or even reject the gift and giver of that life.  What this workout does is to align our thoughts, actions and behaviors with the path that leads to a true first place.

January 31, 2009 I’m going for BJ Penn in his rematch against St. Pierre.  I love the attitude GSP brings to the ring but have to go with the 808.  Both have crazy skills.  It should be a great match-up and could go either way.  Being first to strike and first to the take-down could be make a big difference in this fight.  Putting others ahead of you, Being Last, in this Ultimate Fight for you Soul Championship, will make a big difference in you.

This is really bad.  I mean, I knew that a target of 50 smiles a day would be challenging but this is really pretty pathetic.  I started on Monday and my total for week-to-date (Thursday) is 17!  That’s the total!  The last time I did this my score was low as well but not like this??!!  What’s going on?

In analyzing my low smile-count I’ve come up with a couple possible reasons for it:

• First, I’ve just not been actively pursing this goal.  I’ve forgotten or been too busy or too flat out grumpy to do this.  To get a high smile-count I have to be looking for people to connect with.  I have to want to project and receive a happy face.  If I’m walking around doing my version of Ebenezer Scrooge than for sure I’ll be in the single digits daily.

• Another reason (and I’m not looking for excuses) is that other people are not actively pursing this goal.  I walked through the hardware store this afternoon focusing on the positive and looking to make eye contact and get the smile.  Out of dozens of people I walked past only two people were aware of or acknowledged my existence.  (I got one smile and one “what’s up” nod that my son wouldn’t let me count because it wasn’t technically a smile.)  Everyone’s busy and in their own private atmosphere.  Why should they go out of their way to acknowledge a stranger?  What’s in it for them?  The question, even as I pose it here, strikes me as related to a change that I’ve observed in the raw friendliness pattern of our human interaction.  With the catchy phrases we hear about “stranger danger” why am I surprised that “friendliness” is not a stronger value in our culture?

I’ve found that I have to put myself into places and a mindset where I can interact with people in a friendly fashion.  Sounds easy but sometimes I get stuck in my reclusive, Thoreau mindset and find it hard to get out.  This is not an easy workout for me but so what.  By making this an official workout there is accountability and it keeps it at the top of my mind.   Without it I find myself drifting towards a fortress mentality that doesn’t allow for open and positive interactions.  In fact, I see more clearly how, in the languages of some primitive cultures, the word for stranger and enemy are the same.

Workout for the Week:  Smile at 50 people per day* (minimum, no maximum) Monday- Sunday. Post total smiles at the end of the week.  Total greater than 315 = World Changer, 280 to 314 = Positive Impacter

* Special Conditions:

• Must be 50 different people
• Must get a return smile
• No “machine gun” smiling (i.e. no smiling at a room full of people and counting them all as hits)

Q:  How does this work?
Once a week, on Monday, we put up an activity, a workout, that strengthens the soul.  Usually focusing on a particular soul muscle group (e.g. joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc), these workouts are listed in the “Workouts” category. Through the week thoughts, quotes, images etc. will be posted to supplement the main workout.

Some of the workouts may be easier  – it’ll help to identify strengths and weaknesses.  Spiritual workouts may overlap the physical and vice versa.  We believe there is a connection between mind, body and soul.

One thing that we believe will help is to not workout alone.  Do the workouts with your family and friends.  Talk about them, share your observations and your insights.  It’s like having a running partner who loves to run – they’ll keep you going and get you going faster and stronger.

Q: Who is this for?
Those who need stronger souls.  Paul, the writer of a large portion of the New Testament, says that we are in a battle, a war that is fought not in or against flesh and blood but in the spirit.  If you know you’re in a fight you train differently.  People who workout the physical in a health club on the treadmill for 30 minutes, three days a week are not in shape to fight.  Most of us train the spiritual the same way.  Maybe once or twice a week we head  to a church, check it off our to-do list, wipe the sweat from our brow, grab a latte and consider ourselves spiritual.  We’re not in shape to fight.  SoulFit hopes to change the way we train so that ultimately we can fight the good fight.

Q:  Is this a “religious” thing?
If religion has to do with living powerfully and fully with purpose and meaning than YES!  If by religion you mean a set of rules and regulations on what and what not to do than no. The word religion has gotten a bad rap in the last 20 years.  Religion (where religion is a man-made system of faith and worship) has a tendency to over simplify.  Do this, don’t do that.  This is good, that is bad.  Religion has often drawn sharp, clear-cut black and white lines in our world.  The soul, the spirit, is difficult to define and hard to quantify.  Today’s religion would much prefer to dogma-tize than to say “I don’t know.”

Q:  Do I have to a Christian to participate?
No. While our background is predominately Protestant in religious education and training we’ve found that much of the contemporary Christian church doesn’t provide enough weight to the bar to make the spirit grow.  In exercise theory, muscles grow when they’re stressed or challenged beyond where they’ve been before.  If you keep benchpressing 135lbs. your body will reach a plateau and stop getting stronger.  Once you put more stress on the muscle (e.g. increase the poundage or the number of reps) the muscle is forced to grow.  Stop adding weight and stop the growth.  You don’t need a background in any religion to workout with us.  You do need to want it.  These workouts will more than likely (hopefully?) bother Christians and non-Christians alike.  Some will criticize it as not having enough bible verses, others will say to much.  People will be happy/unhappy if we quote Confucius.  Can’t make everyone happy…If your soul grows stronger, we’ll be happy.

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I’m trying hard during this week’s focus on thankfulness and gratitude to think of people I consider marked by these things.  Here’s a definition for gratitude:

gratitude:
the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness : she expressed her gratitude to the committee for their support.
ORIGIN late Middle English : from Old French, or from medieval Latin gratitudo, from Latin gratus ‘pleasing, thankful.’

I can list people who are powerful leaders, compelling communicators or gifted athletes but I’m having a hard time coming up with names of persons who are marked by this readiness to appreciate and return kindness.

Can you do me a favor and list down some people, past or present, who fit this description?