Workout:  Challenge yourself physically

There’s such a strong connection between the condition of our body and the condition of our soul.  Seeing changes in the body is sometimes much easier.  This week take advantage of the link and do something physically demanding – at whatever level you are.  If you are a runner than add some distance.  If the only time you’ve broken a sweat recently is when the AC was broken than take a daily 10 minute walk around the block or do 10 pushups.  Look for and feel the relationship between your body and soul.

What are you afraid of?

Workout:  List and describe your three biggest fears

I read somewhere that if you know what someone is afraid of you know what they need.  The workout this week is not to overcome your fears but simply to name them.  You don’t have to stop at three; you may have more.  Spend some time though in identifying the things you are afraid of.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Workout:  stop the gossip.

Again, like nearly every workout we do, some will find this particular one easier while others may find it more difficult.  Here’s what we’re trying not to do:

gossip |?gäs?p|
casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true

Gossips are listed with some of the worst of the worst evils.  In the Bible it is associated with such things as murder, slander and malice.

They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,  slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; Rom. 1:29-30

To be successful in this workout you must be able to self-monitor your thoughts and conversations in the moment.  If you are prone to gossip with certain people (e.g. friends, co-workers) prepare yourself before seeing them and be alert during your conversation.  What are you watching for?  “Unconfirmed casual or unconstrained conversation or reports” about people who are not there.

In the ancient Greek language the word that get’s translated as gossip is psithyristeœ.  The same word is translated in English as whisper.  We know when we’re in the rumour mill, participating in the production of gossip.  It’s that same sneaky, clandestine feel of the secret whisper.  Be a cog in the machine.  Stop the whispers.

Workout: Confess your weaknesses.

Find someone you trust and share some of the areas in your life that you are struggling with.  Often these weaknesses are blockages to SoulFit growth and one of the most powerful cleansers is confession.  It’s humbling, it’s difficult, it’s flat out hard but if you want to grow the soul it’s necessary.

I had coffee with a friend of mine recently and felt the soul-cleansing, waterfall-washing power of confession.  It’s good.  Do it.

Last week’s workout was a time for soul self-evaluation.  Some of the problems I mentioned in an assessment like that included subjectivity and validity.  Another one we could add would be self-deceptivity.

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?

Often, to improve, we need someone who can sit back – and feedback – their perceptions, what they see, in our life.

In the SoulFit Workout this week you will do two things that will expand on and hopefully address some of the potential problems in the previous week’s workout:

1.  Give the following list to someone who knows you and that you can trust to be honest with you.  Ask them to evaluate you using the same scale (1-10) and definitions you used for last week’s workout.

The idea is to compare your self-assessment to an outside (of yourself) observer’s and mark the differences if any.  You can certainly give it to more than one person if you desire.  You can email it, meet for coffee or discuss over the phone but do take the time to dialogue over the components.

• Love – among other things, love, is defined in the Bible through some important “nots”. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love is a sacrificial other focus rather than a selfish me focus.
• Joy – joy is a deep, foundational happiness that is independent of circumstance or situation.
• Peace – the absence of war. When we discuss peace as a attribute of soul-health we’re talking about the cessation of conflict, tension and insecurity within us.
• Patience – the dictionary definition of patience is “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”. It’s not easily flustered or rushed; it takes the long-term view.
• Kindness – is consideration, friendliness, politeness, caring.
• Goodness – doing the right thing at the right time with the right motive; morally virtuous.
• Faithfulness – loyalty, trustworthiness.
• Gentleness – is a rod of iron wrapped in layers of cotton; softness; “strength under control” (Weber).
• Self-control – the ability to regulate self; the capacity to choose my actions rather than have them chosen for me; Stephen Covey describes this as being proactive rather than reactive.
• Knowledge – wisdom, deep learning, sensitivity; one aspect of this that is relevant to the test is self-awareness and consciousness.
• Perseverance – tenacity, the steadfastness in the face of difficulty or delay; the never-give-up attitude.
• Humility – a life priority structure that places others above you; the absence of arrogance and/or haughtiness.

2.  Pray and ask God to evaluate you in each of these areas.

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?

“I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve.”

Compare all three.

Don’t you just love midterms and final exams?

The Workout

The workout this week is a self-administered examination of your soul. The assessment will focus on identified core, strong-soul, outcomes and has a possible score of 120. This score is based on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the highest) for the following 12 different, testable attributes:

• Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, knowledge, perseverance, and humility.

The assessments must be experientially based, i.e. you must have an encounter or experience that provides opportunity to measure the component. (In other words you must live life; no sequestering away in a monastery retreating from temptation.)  For example:  an irate coworker enters your office and mocks, derides and scorns your performance at a recent project meeting. This becomes an opportunity for you to measure, by your responses, 1. how patient you are; 2. your level of humility; and 3. your degree of self control.

You may require multiple experiences to be able to test all 12 but each attribute must be measured through a real life test this week.  Don’t sit and think about what your score is; rather, live through an event and watch your score happen.  We’re trying to measure behaviors and “what is” not what we want it to be.

You may also find that an opportunity to test patience for you won’t be a test for someone else.  We’re all going to be challenged in different ways.

Potential Difficulties

There are several problems with a test like this. Humility, validity and subjectivity are some. The fact that some may be unable to score themselves highly in the category “humility” because of the seeming contradiction is a problem.  Validity and subjectivity are related. How accurate can a test like this be if self-administered?  Part 2 of the test (coming next week) will address these issues.

A problem we need to address immediately relates to the definitions of each component.  Below are some descriptions that you can use to help gauge your scores.  You can select other definitions, just make sure you use the same ones when the test comes up again.

Measures

Love – among other things, love, is defined in the Bible through some important “nots”. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love is a sacrificial other focus rather than a selfish me focus.

Joy – joy is a deep, foundational happiness that is independent of circumstance or situation.

Peace – the absence of war. When we discuss peace as a attribute of soul-health we’re talking about the cessation of conflict, tension and insecurity within us.

Patience – the dictionary definition of patience is “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”. It’s not easily flustered or rushed; it takes the long-term view.

Kindness – is consideration, friendliness, politeness, caring.

Goodness – doing the right thing at the right time with the right motive; morally virtuous.

Faithfulness – loyalty, trustworthiness.

Gentleness – is a rod of iron wrapped in layers of cotton; softness; “strength under control” (Weber).

Self-control – the ability to regulate self; the capacity to choose my actions rather than have them chosen for me; Stephen Covey describes this as being proactive rather than reactive.

Knowledge – wisdom, deep learning, sensitivity; one aspect of this that is relevant to the test is self-awareness and consciousness.

Perseverance – tenacity, the steadfastness in the face of difficulty or delay; the never-give-up attitude.

Humility – a life priority structure that places others above you; the absence of arrogance and/or haughtiness.

The workout this week is physical, direct, simple and to the (Soul) point:

Take a 30 minute walk through a cemetary.

The workout is simple but profound: define, describe, characterize the strong soul. We describe someone who is physically strong by stating how much, how fast, how far that person lifts, runs, or throws. How do you identify a strong soul?  What qualities, characteristics, mindsets, behaviors, attitudes does the fit soul contain?

Deadline: Friday.
Post your definition in the comments.

Obviously were heading into the new year and the new year comes associated with the word resolution. One dictionary defines resolution as “a firm decision to do or not to do something” and that’s what we’re looking for in this week’s workout.

Workout: Write down 25 goals for 2009 and share them with someone else. The goals have to be written and constructed in the S.M.A.R.T. format described below.  The goals should also be meaningful, that is, you should be able to link your goals to your values, your vision, and your mission. There’s no need to categorize the goals though I suggest you consider physical/health goals, financial goals, relational/emotional goals, mental goals and spiritual goals. In other words at the end of 2009, your relationships should be stronger and you should be healthier, wealthier, and wiser (to borrow Ben Franklin’s “early to bed” outcomes).

The spiritual, by definition, is less tangible. I can see the fruit of a strong spiritual life and I can identify manifestations of the soul but I sometimes have difficulty quantifying spiritual activities and development. I’ll give you a couple days to think about this on your own (please share your thoughts in the comments section) then share some of my thinking later in the week.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals:

• S-Specific: your goals should be as precise and defined as you can make them.  The goal “to get in shape”  is ambiguous and fuzzy. What kind of shape? A round shape? I already got that one… If this is a health related goal then it would be more specific to describe the shape as a certain weight or waist size. Maybe you want to run a 10k race or deadlift 400 pounds.  Whatever it is make it specific enough for you to know if you’ve made it.  Financial and physical goals are a little easier with this one. The relational and spiritual ones may prove challenging.
• M -Measurable: when you think of this one think rulers, scales, numbers, percentages… you should know when you’ve finished your goal. The only way to do that is to craft the goal with measurement in mind. Example: “In 2009 I will memorize five bible verses a week.” When it’s phrased in this fashion I can tell you that I completed this goal, I completed half of this goal or none of this goal. I now have the ability to measure my accomplishment (or lack thereof) and this ability motivates the accomplishment.
• A -Aligned: as mentioned in the workout’s description, you should be able to draw a straight line from your goals, through your values and what’s important to you, and then to the vision and calling in your life. Don’t make goals that you don’t really want to accomplish or are in opposition to who you are.  You need to be pretty clear on who you to make this one work and may have to start with some value identifying work.  I’ll talk about this more this week.
• R -Reasonable (or realistic): “I will lose 20 pounds today” is specific, measurable, maybe aligned, but, I’m going to suggest- unreasonable. I know it’s possible to lose 20 pounds in a day (witness the Ultimate Fighter) but it really is unacceptably unreasonable. One person told me to think off a reasonable goal as one that is just out of reach. The challenge in this section is to make the goal challenging enough that just seeing it motivates and inspires us to do it and not so challenging that it stops and discourages us.
• T -Time frame: your goal should have a “finish by” date. For example, “in three months I’ll…” or “…by the end of March.” Without a timeframe or deadline your goal is a dream. This is one of the things that prevent many of the goals we have from getting checked off.

Two things will help you harness the power of focused goals in your life this year. The first is this S.M.A.R.T. structure for your goals. If you can write a goal that is specific, measurable, aligned, reasonable, and has a timeframe you are good to go. The second thing that will help you is the second part of the workout description – “… and share them with someone else.” If you have people in your life that can and will hold you accountable to these goals (and just telling somebody helps) you’ll be more likely to move from the goal-setting group to the goal-accomplishing group.

BJ Penn said “Be first”.  Jesus said “Be last”.  When you’re in the Ultimate Fighting Championship I agree with BJ; in life, I’m going with JC.

The workout this week, Christmas week around the world, is to work on being last.  Conversely, put others first.  There are no easily quantifiable exercises for this one but here are some examples below. Please add your ideas to the comments.

• When you’ve finally found a parking space at the mall, just before that other car, when you have dibs, the rights for the space, let the other have it.
• When you’re looking for a cashier at  __Mart and you and another shopper see the open one at the same time, don’t scowl and speed up, smile and slow down, let them go first.
• At work when someone is taking credit for your performance be quiet and don’t fight it.
• When someone puts you down lift them up.

A big challenge will be keeping this workout TOMA (top-of-mind-aware).  Of course, the idea of being last itself will offer the biggest challenge to many of us.  We grew up competing and fighting to be first.  We’re taught early on that life is a contest, a dog-eat-dog world, and you DO NOT want to be last because you DO NOT want to be a loser.  Be a winner and you’re good.  Be a loser and you’re bad.

“Nobody remembers who finished second but the guy who finished second.” – Bobby Unser
“Second Place is just the first loser.” – Dale Earnhardt

Jesus did say to be last but the context and intent is very different from how we might understand it now.  It’s not “be a loser” or “be less than” someone else but rather be truly successful, be all you were created for.  If you want to be first (and you should want to), he said that you must serve all.  One of the biggest tests in our soul development is not to compete with others but to fight against our own entropy, our own natural decline to disorder and disharmony, to self-preservation and self-aggrandizement.

It’s ok to want to be first, in fact I think to want less than that for your life is to settle for or even reject the gift and giver of that life.  What this workout does is to align our thoughts, actions and behaviors with the path that leads to a true first place.

January 31, 2009 I’m going for BJ Penn in his rematch against St. Pierre.  I love the attitude GSP brings to the ring but have to go with the 808.  Both have crazy skills.  It should be a great match-up and could go either way.  Being first to strike and first to the take-down could be make a big difference in this fight.  Putting others ahead of you, Being Last, in this Ultimate Fight for you Soul Championship, will make a big difference in you.