Obviously were heading into the new year and the new year comes associated with the word resolution. One dictionary defines resolution as “a firm decision to do or not to do something” and that’s what we’re looking for in this week’s workout.

Workout: Write down 25 goals for 2009 and share them with someone else. The goals have to be written and constructed in the S.M.A.R.T. format described below.  The goals should also be meaningful, that is, you should be able to link your goals to your values, your vision, and your mission. There’s no need to categorize the goals though I suggest you consider physical/health goals, financial goals, relational/emotional goals, mental goals and spiritual goals. In other words at the end of 2009, your relationships should be stronger and you should be healthier, wealthier, and wiser (to borrow Ben Franklin’s “early to bed” outcomes).

The spiritual, by definition, is less tangible. I can see the fruit of a strong spiritual life and I can identify manifestations of the soul but I sometimes have difficulty quantifying spiritual activities and development. I’ll give you a couple days to think about this on your own (please share your thoughts in the comments section) then share some of my thinking later in the week.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals:

• S-Specific: your goals should be as precise and defined as you can make them.  The goal “to get in shape”  is ambiguous and fuzzy. What kind of shape? A round shape? I already got that one… If this is a health related goal then it would be more specific to describe the shape as a certain weight or waist size. Maybe you want to run a 10k race or deadlift 400 pounds.  Whatever it is make it specific enough for you to know if you’ve made it.  Financial and physical goals are a little easier with this one. The relational and spiritual ones may prove challenging.
• M -Measurable: when you think of this one think rulers, scales, numbers, percentages… you should know when you’ve finished your goal. The only way to do that is to craft the goal with measurement in mind. Example: “In 2009 I will memorize five bible verses a week.” When it’s phrased in this fashion I can tell you that I completed this goal, I completed half of this goal or none of this goal. I now have the ability to measure my accomplishment (or lack thereof) and this ability motivates the accomplishment.
• A -Aligned: as mentioned in the workout’s description, you should be able to draw a straight line from your goals, through your values and what’s important to you, and then to the vision and calling in your life. Don’t make goals that you don’t really want to accomplish or are in opposition to who you are.  You need to be pretty clear on who you to make this one work and may have to start with some value identifying work.  I’ll talk about this more this week.
• R -Reasonable (or realistic): “I will lose 20 pounds today” is specific, measurable, maybe aligned, but, I’m going to suggest- unreasonable. I know it’s possible to lose 20 pounds in a day (witness the Ultimate Fighter) but it really is unacceptably unreasonable. One person told me to think off a reasonable goal as one that is just out of reach. The challenge in this section is to make the goal challenging enough that just seeing it motivates and inspires us to do it and not so challenging that it stops and discourages us.
• T -Time frame: your goal should have a “finish by” date. For example, “in three months I’ll…” or “…by the end of March.” Without a timeframe or deadline your goal is a dream. This is one of the things that prevent many of the goals we have from getting checked off.

Two things will help you harness the power of focused goals in your life this year. The first is this S.M.A.R.T. structure for your goals. If you can write a goal that is specific, measurable, aligned, reasonable, and has a timeframe you are good to go. The second thing that will help you is the second part of the workout description – “… and share them with someone else.” If you have people in your life that can and will hold you accountable to these goals (and just telling somebody helps) you’ll be more likely to move from the goal-setting group to the goal-accomplishing group.

One of the nicesest thing my wife ever said about me was her response to someone at church who had asked her if I was a nice person.  They’d asked me first and I said let’s go ask my wife.  She jokingly (?) replied that “nice” wasn’t the first adjective that came to mind but that what you saw is what you got.  She said I was the same at church as I was at home.  I’ve always remembered that and worked to make that statement true.

A large part of making the soul strong is to work at removing the multiple “me’s” in our lives.  So often we behave one way at one place and a different way at another.  This weakens us, especially when these differences are manifested at home.  We’re polite and positive (hopefully) at work then we come home and we’re grumpy, disrespectful and rude – and this with the people we love!  We too often have given our best at work and what remains is dumped unceremoniously on our family.

For this week’s workout I’m working on being conscious of “being last” not just at work, on the street or at the mall but also, and to me more importantly, at home.  Here’s some ideas:

1. First, be aware.  Think and ask yourself what you could do or say that would place your spouse before you, in the first place of your life then do it or say it.  There are different ways that we can give and receive love and what might make you feel important might not for your spouse.  If you don’t know or are uncertain, ask.
2. If you’ve been at work all day (or at home all day), take a few minutes, pause in the garage or in the car to re-center, re-focus, re-align.  We do it at work when preparing for a project meeting let’s do it for the daily reunion with our families.  This initial reconnection with our spouse can make or break the rest of the night.  It’s vitally important so let’s treat it that way.
3. If you have children recognize that they have needs too and will want to press and play and be the center of your attention.  Give them that gift.  Before you relax or unwind or take time out for yourself, give them your attention, put them before you.  Yes, some days it’s harder than others but that’s the what make this a workout.
4. With your parents, brothers or sisters recognize that sometimes we take the people who’s lives are irrevocably tied and connected to us and we place them far down on the priority list.  Sometimes all it takes is for us to remember how important they are.  I see it happen all the time – the problem is that it’s usually at funerals.  Don’t wait to put the people you love in their place.  Give that inch, that little bit of “extra”, that says you value who they are.  Do it with the small things too, the movies for the family movie night, the dishes, the clothes, the last cookie – all of these things give you opportunity to put the other person before you.

One of the questions people who lift weights often hear is “Eh, how much you bench?”  That bench pressing score, the weight you squat or deadlift, how fast you run a mile or 5k – these are all indicators of physical strength and vitality.  Your relationship with your family, you husband or wife, your connection with your children, these are indicators or strength and vitality as well.  When the the physical and the emotional are both strong, our souls are strong.

Let’s do this!