One of the nicesest thing my wife ever said about me was her response to someone at church who had asked her if I was a nice person.  They’d asked me first and I said let’s go ask my wife.  She jokingly (?) replied that “nice” wasn’t the first adjective that came to mind but that what you saw is what you got.  She said I was the same at church as I was at home.  I’ve always remembered that and worked to make that statement true.

A large part of making the soul strong is to work at removing the multiple “me’s” in our lives.  So often we behave one way at one place and a different way at another.  This weakens us, especially when these differences are manifested at home.  We’re polite and positive (hopefully) at work then we come home and we’re grumpy, disrespectful and rude – and this with the people we love!  We too often have given our best at work and what remains is dumped unceremoniously on our family.

For this week’s workout I’m working on being conscious of “being last” not just at work, on the street or at the mall but also, and to me more importantly, at home.  Here’s some ideas:

1. First, be aware.  Think and ask yourself what you could do or say that would place your spouse before you, in the first place of your life then do it or say it.  There are different ways that we can give and receive love and what might make you feel important might not for your spouse.  If you don’t know or are uncertain, ask.
2. If you’ve been at work all day (or at home all day), take a few minutes, pause in the garage or in the car to re-center, re-focus, re-align.  We do it at work when preparing for a project meeting let’s do it for the daily reunion with our families.  This initial reconnection with our spouse can make or break the rest of the night.  It’s vitally important so let’s treat it that way.
3. If you have children recognize that they have needs too and will want to press and play and be the center of your attention.  Give them that gift.  Before you relax or unwind or take time out for yourself, give them your attention, put them before you.  Yes, some days it’s harder than others but that’s the what make this a workout.
4. With your parents, brothers or sisters recognize that sometimes we take the people who’s lives are irrevocably tied and connected to us and we place them far down on the priority list.  Sometimes all it takes is for us to remember how important they are.  I see it happen all the time – the problem is that it’s usually at funerals.  Don’t wait to put the people you love in their place.  Give that inch, that little bit of “extra”, that says you value who they are.  Do it with the small things too, the movies for the family movie night, the dishes, the clothes, the last cookie – all of these things give you opportunity to put the other person before you.

One of the questions people who lift weights often hear is “Eh, how much you bench?”  That bench pressing score, the weight you squat or deadlift, how fast you run a mile or 5k – these are all indicators of physical strength and vitality.  Your relationship with your family, you husband or wife, your connection with your children, these are indicators or strength and vitality as well.  When the the physical and the emotional are both strong, our souls are strong.

Let’s do this!